Mennonites across Manitoba are excited about the new law firm Friesen Froese Harder that just opened up this week on Henderson Highway. “It was minus 35 on the day of our grand opening,” said Friesen.

A totally normal carton of eggs sold for a record $80 million plus buyer’s premium in a Sotheby’s auction this week, smashing the previous record of $4.50. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said ...

Area man Garth Eby, 39, has just begun a yearlong project to dissemble every stitch of furniture in his house and replace all the screws with Robertsons. “I’m starting with the kitchen cabinets, ...

With the trade war heating up things are getting testy, even at the rink. Last month a player was suspended for calling another player a Mennonite and now defenceman Brian Wiebe of Leamington has been ...

Even the Canadian satire industry has not escaped Trump’s trade war, with an expected 25% tariff to be slapped on all exports of sarcasm and mockery. “We don’t need Canada’s jokes. We have our own ...

Darren Klippenstein, janitor at Fifth Mennonite Church in Grunthal, rushed to the scene this evening after he heard the Women’s Quilting Club had spent all evening “spilling the tea.” “We didn’t make ...

In response to Trump’s tariff threat, the Canadian government has appointed Corny Martens to clean up the huge mound of knackzoat leftover on the Gruenfeld ball diamonds last summer. “It’s been there ...

With a trade war on the horizon, Mennonites across North America are looking for ways to keep out of the whole mess and preserve their pacifist values. “I’m thinking of going to the Conscientious ...

Of all the mysteries that have befallen the Mennonite community over the centuries, the most baffling is why Loewen is pronounced “Low-en” and Toews is pronounced “Taves.” For consistency they should ...

Henderson resident Dave Buhler, 51, has resolved to dedicate the year 2025 to Bible memorization. “If I really put my mind to it, I think I can have ‘Jesus wept’ down pat by next Christmas,” said ...

Area man Abe Friesen is under the impression that the specific type of Mennonites that he is familiar with, those who speak Low German, wear suspenders, forbid dancing and drinking, and complain about ...

On a recent trip to Germany this winter, all the hearty schnitzels and sausages had Canadian tourist Pete Dueck, 47, in a constant need to break wind. “And the first thing I noticed about this country ...